Who Wrote It #2: Reveal

To read our original stories click here.

Who Wrote It Challenge #2

Below are our responses to a fifteen minute writing prompt: 

The old house, with its wildly overgrown garden, was silent, secretive.

Can you match the writing sample to the author?

Katie Drake bio

Solange Hommel bio 

J. Rae Moore bio

Lan H. Lee bio

A)

 The old house, with its wildly overgrown garden, was silent, secretive. Annalise 

remembered when her mother had carefully tended the garden. The trellises, now broken 

and dangling, had once dripped with glorious yellow roses. She pictured the fresh coat of 

crisp, white paint that her father had painstakingly applied over the course of a summer, 

using the limited time available each evening between bank closing and nightfall. Over the 

years, the dust and smog had left its mark, turning the siding a dingy gray. She could 

remember the days when Hart Manor regularly appeared on the covers of gardening and 

housekeeping magazines; when locals walked their out-of-town visitors past the matching 

white picket fence with vicarious pride; when her family represented all that was good and 

strong and right in the community. Annalise stood on the cracked sidewalk leading to the 

sagging front door and remembered the old house as the shining beacon it had been 

before the secrets took over.

B) 

          "I bet you five seeds he will only go 25 feet," Eddie says to me, his scavenging partner.
          "You are on, my friend," I reply.

          We both watch as this little boy of about eight takes a tentative step into the overgrown garden. One step, two steps and he stops. The patio of the old house creaks as if on cue, and the little boy turns and runs away.

          "Pay up Eddie, you owe me five seeds," I say as I wait for him to gather the seeds from the sunflower plant.

          "Yeah, yeah, I'm getting them." He hops all the way up to the top of the stem and begrudgingly throws down each seed, one by one.

          "Hey. Watch it." I dodge the seeds being thrown at me.

          "Sorry," Eddie yells down as he peeks his head over the tip of a yellow petal. But, I don't think he's sorry as I hear laughter.

          I wait for him to hop down to help me put the seeds into the cart. My little red wings are too small to carry the seeds.

          "What do you say we go over to Tully's and throw back some nectar when we're done," he say's when he finally makes it down.

          "Yeah, that's sounds great, the quicker we are done here, the sooner we can meet up with the other guys," I say as I nudge a seed his way.

          "Ah, I see what you are doing, and I get it. The first one's on you." Being a grasshopper, he makes quick of the work and we are on our way to the drop off shoot.

         On the way to there as I ignore Eddie's ever constant buzzing, I look around the overgrown garden that I call my home.

C)

Twice I'd been to the town my mother grew up in. I can still picture the endless wheat fields, and of course, my great grandfather Rudy's house. White, with a wrap-around porch and oak trees out front. Even then I new it was a bit shabby, maintained but not cared for.

One Easter I wore a frilly dress with patent leather shoes. All the cousins hunted for eggs and I got my first Easter basket. For Rudy's ninety-fifth birthday there was a parade. I was seven and thought the celebration was just for him. I didn't know it was for Oktoberfest. All the grand kids wore matching yellow outfits made by an aunt. I still have the little matching purse. We piled in the car with Rudy. I remember it was a convertible. I don't remember the actual drive. 

I can picture the table in the kitchen and mother helping make the fresh sausage. I would climb the dark, creaky stairs to the second floor and play with my mother's old barbies. The ones stored there from when she was a little girl. There were only two.

       The back yard was like a strange forest; part junk yard for old tractor and irrigation supplies, and part retreat from too many people. Sometimes there was an odd man out there. He never spoke to me and the others rarely spoke to him. But he belonged there. Once I saw him coating the picket fence with white paint. He also kept an eye on a bird feeder and would sit and watch the birds for hours while he polished little stones with a scrap of felt. I would see him slip through a small door at the back of the house that led to what I thought was the cellar. I was not allowed in. I never saw anyone follow him. They never even told me his name.

       They should have. He was my grandfather, my mother's father, son to Rudy. Now they are all gone and I've come back to the old house. The garden has run wild, covering the rusted metal of the farm equipment. The old picket fence is no longer white, but grey and leaning. The birds are gone. I found the polished rocks lined up from the bird feeder to the little cellar door.

D)

                    16 August 2016

To the Dark Forest Code Compliance Office,

I am sending this letter in reference to the numerous notices and fees I have received from your office about the overgrown condition of my yard.

Firstly, let me remind you of the past accolades my yard and home have earned.

·         The Yummiest Yard Award presented in May 2013, 2014, and 2015 by the Little Gnomes Society.

·         The Delectable Décor Honor presented in August 2013 and April 2015 by The Munchkin League of Fairytale Land

·         The Stripes are Scrumptious Medal presented in June 2013, 2014, and March 2016 by The Fairies for Equality Foundation.

·         The Editable Construction Certificate presented for the year of 2014 by King Phillip –himself!     

As you can see, I am not in the habit of letting my property fall into ruin. Maintaining a gingerbread house is a full time investment. However, because of the debilitating injuries I suffered in an unfortunate incident earlier this year, I’ve had no choice but to fall behind on the maintenance of my estate.

Surely, you read about the incident in the Princess Daily Press. Although the article was extremely one-sided, making me out to be some kind of monster, I’m sure you’ll be reassured once you hear my side of it.

It was in early May when I caught two children nibbling away at the siding on my house. Of course, I felt sorry for the poor dears. They were obviously very hungry, so I invited them inside. If only I knew what was to come.

Once inside my home, the boy, Hansel, went into a frenzy, eating and licking everything in sight. I thought the boy foolish with hunger so I placed him in an enclosure to save my home. I had his sister, Gretel, help me whip together a batch of my famous chocolate chip butter cookies. Sure, the children ate the cookies with no complaint, but when I insisted Gretel help tidy up the preparation mess, she threw a huge temper tantrum. I explained the concept of cleaning up after oneself but there was no calming the child. – I blame the parents –

Seeing I would get no help from the children, I went about cleaning the oven myself. It wasn’t until I felt the firm push that I realized my mistake. Those horrible, ungrateful, evil children had pushed me in and closed the door. Consequently, I suffered major injuries. I spent weeks in the hospital and am still in the process of returning to full health. Thus, all of this has hindered me from keeping up my home.

I should hope you understand. I am asking for the full dismissal of the accumulated warnings and fees your code compliance officer has nailed to my front door. And, compensation for the damage said officer has caused to my door with said nails. Thank you.

Awaiting Action,

The Witch in the Gingerbread House on Canetree Lane

P.S. I was sorry to hear of Hansel and Gretel’s recent disappearances in the paper. I’m sure they’ll turn up.

P.P.S. Please extend an invitation to Code Compliance Officer, Miss Priss. I invite her to come to my house for milk and cookies. She knows where I live.

_______

Thanks for reading! Please, take a second to introduce yourself in the comments below. Don't forget to make your guesses about the authorship of each sample. Even better: set a timer for 15 minutes and share what you've written! 

We'll let you know who wrote which sample next week. Good luck!

Unstoppable

Preface: One of my favorite things to do is to get a prompt of some kind and see where it takes me. I get an email from Daily Post every morning. On July 28, the prompt was "Unstoppable". This is what immediately came to mind...

***

As I run through my morning media checks, I sip my tea and watch my little corner of the world. The dining room window overlooks a narrow section of the Mississippi River as it meanders through central Minnesota. "My river" attracts lots of wildlife, and I have strategically placed feeders around the yard to assist "my birds" as they raise their young and prepare for the inevitable winter. My favorite feathered visitors this year are a trio of juvenile blue jays (collectively known as "the Jays", an obscure reference to America's Next Top Model) and a trio of juvenile pileated woodpeckers (affectionately dubbed "Larry, Moe and Curly").

When we bought the house, it came with a large, covered bird feeder, complete with a squirrel-blocking tube around the pole. This great feeder, backdropped by the river and framed by white pine and oak branches, is a favorite to all kinds of birds. From the very beginning, it was a challenge to keep the feeder full of sunflower seeds in the face of such popularity. Lately, however, the task has reached Sisyphean proportions.

There are two things you should know about my family before I continue with this story.

The first thing is that my husband was born, raised and lived solely (until 2 years ago) in southern California, where squirrels are not common, especially not the big, bushy-tailed kind that fill the treetops in Minnesota. Despite my best efforts, he refuses to recognize them as the noisy tree-rats they are. He thinks they're "cute".

The second thing is that we have two good-sized dogs. (In California, land of the yappy lapdog, I used to describe them as "big dogs". Here, they are dwarfed by the hunting, herding and sled-pulling breeds preferred by Minnesotans.) They are good dogs, sweet and sociable with people, but I've been unable to break them of two bad habits: they chase small animals (like our elderly cat) and they run off whenever they get a chance. The first bad habit means they are not allowed in the house. The second means we had to fence a large portion of our yard, including the section that runs parallel to the river.

The new fence runs directly under the sunflower feeder. The squirrels think this is fantastic as it allows them to circumvent the anti-squirrel tube. Apparently squirrels are a gossipy bunch, because in the past month the squirrel population has exploded. Great big, pompous gray squirrels. Twitchy little red squirrels. Ninja-like black squirrels. I can't look out a window without seeing at least one. The dogs don't even chase them anymore; there are so many I think they've decided our yard is a squirrel sanctuary.

My husband likes this very much. He takes pictures and videos of them hanging upside down on the bird feeders and daydreams about feeding them peanuts from his hand.

I sneak up on them, getting as close as I can before clapping my hands and barking loudly (I'm trying to model the appropriate behavior for my dogs who are understandably confused). I encourage the bigger birds to "Show them who's boss!" and "Take back the feeder!", but they have yet to take my advice. They just collect in the trees around the squirrel infested feeder and sulk. When the squirrels have left, the pileated woodpeckers land on the roof of the empty feeder and drum their displeasure.

So, I pour more seeds into the feeder and hope the birds get their fill before the squirrels come back. I've also been teaching my pup, Wiggles, the difference between naughty cat chasing and good girl squirrel chasing. The squirrels may be unstoppable, but so are Wiggles and I.

Prompting Ideas, pt 2

Last week, I wrote about the different kinds of prompts that I use to inspire my writing. This week, I want to talk about the "Story Starter" rut. It's easy to fall into the habit of using prompts to start a writing project. I want to explore some of the other ways prompts can help us grow as writers.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to use prompts to start my story. It’s just that writing prompts are about so much more than that! Here are a few of the ways I use prompts to improve my writing skills and practices:

* * * * *

Discipline

My writing routine is continuously challenged. I am a notorious procrastinator. Family obligations, appointments and the normal chaos of life often eat up my writing time, my motivation, or worse, my inspiration.

I’ve found that starting every day* with a fifteen minute writing prompt can help set the tone for your writing time. Then, on those days when the universe seems to conspire against me, at least I can say I wrote something!

*Full disclosure: This is much easier in theory than practice! I’ve yet to truly succeed at this, but I keep trying!

Story Elements

Prompts don’t always have to result in a whole story. Improvement comes from practice! (I talk more about my struggles with that here.) I like to start with a particular skill in mind—“This morning, I’m going to write strong dialogue.”—and then use a timed prompt to create a practice session for that skill. This can strengthen character development, world building, sensory description, vocabulary or any of the many different elements that go into creating amazing stories.

Sometimes, I use the same prompt to practice multiple story elements over time. Other times, I’ll focus on one element across several prompts. Bonus Fun: I can use the writing samples from my practice sessions to improve my revision skills! 

No More Spiders! (AKA the “But Why?” method)

Beginnings are easy for me, but my endings often feel as though they’re fizzling out like fireworks in a downpour. I am a huge Stephen King fan, and I’ve long often suspected that he knows my pain. “Uhmmm… I know! A giant spider attacks!”

I recently read an article about the many ways writing your ending first is helpful. I want to practice starting with the resolution of my story and working my way back to the beginning. I’m imaging it will feel a little like talking to a toddler:

“The princess returned to her castle, smarter and stronger.”
“But, why?”
“Because she defeated the evil wizard.”
“But, why?”
“Because he wanted to imprison all the fairies.”
“But, why?”

And so on … 

Flexibility

The best thing about prompts is that I can make them work for me. They can provide structure when my ideas are running wild, or they can force me to get crazy to break out of a rut. I’m a natural “pantser” (writing by the seat of my pants), so it’s good practice for me to use prompts that require me to develop a beginning, middle and end. I have friends who are excellent “plotters” (planning the whole story ahead of time). They benefit from prompts that force them to jump right into the writing. There are so many types of prompts available, I can always find one that’s perfect for any writing task.

Cooperative Writing

Prompts aren’t just for solo writing, either. I like to participate in parallel writing sessions with other writers. We work simultaneously on the same prompt and then share our finished products with one another. It’s fun to see what similarities and differences our passages contain. Knowing that everyone is using the same starting point challenges me to dig deeper instead of using my first cliched thought. 

* * * * *

I’m sure there are many ways to use writing prompts that I haven’t mentioned or even thought about. Leave a comment below to share how writing prompts have improved your writing.

Prompting Ideas, pt 1

I'm pretty sure the question most commonly asked of writers is "Where do you get your ideas?" This week, I want to talk about types of writing prompts. Next week, I will discuss ways to use prompts to improve your writing. My stories tend to be realistic fiction, which makes it easy to come up with ideas (they play out around me all day, every day), but much harder to make those ideas fresh and unique.

I've found that adding an element of randomness to my thinking allows my writer mind to jump to new places. I have all kinds of characters and settings swirling around in my own brain, but they're all doing the same old things they've always done. With writing prompts, I can push them to try new things.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to jump-start my creativity:

- - - - -

Story Cubes

As an elementary school teacher, I was a big fan of Rory's Story Cubes, published by Gamewright*. When I left the classroom, I kept my story cube collection to use with my own writing.

Each side of each cube has a unique image. I have the Original collection (nouns) and the Action collection (verbs). I usually roll 2 or 3 from each set.

If you'd rather have a bit more structure, you can roll a die specifically for each story element - protagonist, antagonist, setting, conflict, resolution, etc. Sometimes limiting the options forces your brain to get more creative.

Or, if you're the crafty type, check out this blog post on how to make your own story cubes!

- - - - -

Text a Friend

Sometimes when I'm stuck for ideas, I'll text friends and family. I ask each person for a different suggestion - "Mom, name an animal, please!" "Nikki, give me a place!" - and then compile their answers into a single storyline. Speaking from experience, it's a good idea to let your muses know what's going on the first time so you don't get several variations of "Huh?" as your responses.

- - - - -

Dixit/Mysterium cards

My husband and I recently started stealing cards from our Dixit and Mysterium games for inspiration. The artwork in these games is intentionally vague and chaotic. Dixit has more whimsical images, while Mysterium runs a little darker.

We pull three or four cards from each game. From this random selection, we individually create an outline for a story, either stringing together a beginning-middle-end combination or identifying a protagonist, antagonist/conflict, and resolution. Once we both have an idea, we go for a walk and discuss.

These cards inspired a story about a bookish girl with good
intentions who has to choose whether to remain among her elite
crowd or give up her life of leisure to join a real revolution.

- - - - -

Idea Generators

There is no shortage of random idea generators available thanks to the wonders of the world wide web. Here are just a few of the idea generators I've found:

• My personal favorites are the prompts embedded within DavidRM Software's The Journal**, and that’s not just because Writing Prompts 2 and 3 were created by my own Dear Hubby. This software has prompts for prose, poetry, journaling, memoir writing, and more which can be purchased as individual add-ons or in the Writer’s Edition pack.
• Always Write is the classroom webpage maintained by a Nevada writing teacher, Mr. Corbett Harrison, who implements writing notebooks as part of his curriculum. There's lots of interesting information here (makes me wish I still had a classroom so I could do this with my students!), including an idea generator.
• Springhole.net has a collection of random generators, many of which target specific genres (fantasy, sci-fi, fairy tale, romance, etc). I particularly like the ones that give suggestions on how to add a surprise or twist to your story. 
• Writing Exercises has generators for character, plot, dialogue, titles, and other story elements. It also has exercises to use to develop your skills with different elements of storytelling.
• WritersDigest.com has a prompt page with new prompts added regularly. Many of these provide a quick set-up and ask you to write the "and then ..." part.
• Reddit has a Writing Prompts section. As with anything on Reddit, YMMV and you should keep a careful eye out for troll holes.
• ThinkWritten.com has accumulated 365 writing prompts for your daily writing pleasure. These tend to be pretty basic and open-ended, allowing for maximum personalization.

- - - - - 

Do you have a great way to kick-start your writer mind? 

Is there an idea generator you use on a regular basis? Share in the comments!

- - - - -

* Gamewright is responsible for many of my favorite games - Qwixx, Rolling America, Sushi Go, Forbidden Island and Forbidden Desert. They know how to make a game smart and fun at the same time!

** The Journal is great for all kinds of other things as well. I've used it to track health and diet info, create menus, and organize my calendar and to-do lists. I strongly recommend checking it out.

The Fact in the Fiction: Historical People as Characters

It all started when I did my son's homework.  Hang on, let me explain! His job was to pick a famous leader from his world history class and write a one page paper listing this person's biographical info and the strongest arguments to be made about the person's leadership. Then, my son would bring his arguments to class and battle it out 'Deadliest Warrior' style against another student's leader.

To help our son prep, my husband and I each took a person from the list and completed the assignment so we could have a family battle letting our son practice his offense and defense. I chose Hadrian, my husband picked Constantine, and our son picked Alexander the Great.

I wish there had been a fly on the wall with a microphone or video camera to witness our battle and record it for posterity. We sounded like geniuses and I was really proud of my son's grasp of world history.

Well, this led me to think about taking my research and using it for a short story about Hadrian's visit to Great Britain and the creation of Lady Britannia.

One fact I learned about Hadrian was his efforts to bring back what he considered classical Greek ideals. Can you think of another time in more recent history when Greek ideals were brought back? The Renaissance.

Maybe all this was on my mind when I wrote a piece of flash fiction based on a prompt from a song lyric:

"You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter." ~Taylor Swift

He was exotic. Beautiful. The colors of his body, dark skin, black hair, bright blue eyes, were a beacon. From the dais I stared across the ballroom before I could remember the company I kept. Next to me, father enjoyed his imported wine and the attention of a courtesan. I should have stayed put, but when he looked at me, caught my stare, and put a finger to his lips as if he would keep my imprudence a secret, I knew I had to find a way to him. To find out who this stranger was.

To be honest, I've been reading a lot of romances lately and I was going for a French ballroomy feel. I liked this piece and thought it could be the start of a larger story. Now, I've read enough historical fiction to have a general gist of courtly rules and such, but not enough to craft a whole setting and characters, so I set out to find out more--starting with the roles of women during the Renaissance. It was so much fun (I know, what a nerd) that I sent out a Tweet about it.

Now I have lots of great facts, timelines, and interesting people in my notes. The big surprise is that I am completely changing my character. The love struck girl is gone, replaced by the illegitimate son of Henry II of France, who was born to a mistress just after Henry became the Dauphin. He'll still have a love interest, and I am sticking to a real historical timeline and using a real treaty as a basis for the story. This son is a character I am making up, but Henri II is not.

My question now is, how much liberty can I take with characterization of the real historical people?

I've dug around a bit today and found out that the answer really depends on what the purpose of the story is and when it takes place.

Here are a few guidelines I plan to take into consideration from now on:

• Is your character based on a living person? There is a whole set of laws covering the use of a living person's life in your work. No matter how you fictionalize him or her, you leave yourself open to trouble. Ever hear of the book The Help? The author got caught up in a lawsuit by the real life version of her cook/nanny character.

• How well known is your character? You may find yourself trapped by the fame of your character and without room for making him someone we want to read about--our concept of the person might be too rigid. Also, the things he did or the people he knew can't be as easily manipulated as a fully fictional character can be. The flip side is that if you pick someone well known, we already know your character's name and your audience will be more likely to pick up your story.

• Use historical folks as backdrops instead. Because of the previous pitfalls, it is often easier to use real people as a sort of biological landmark, a fleshy setting, in your writing. Because readers have previous knowledge of a person and that person's time and place, use these to your advantage. Create a new character and let the historical people provide challenges or help. 

• Has the person been dead a long time? If I use Hadrian as a character, I have a lot of leeway because he has been gone so long he is nearly a myth. There is a record of where he went and the people who were closest to him, but the real words and the 'truths' are long lost. Using Henri II is similar, yet his life occurred more recently. Therefore, he is well studied and I may have to be more carefully in my treatment of him. In both cases the defamation laws protect me.

• What is the purpose of your writing? Are you like me? Simply interested in a time period and have a set of actions which could have happened to a certain historical person? Will your take on the character twist the readers' understanding of the real person? Are you using his or her life to make a statement of some sort? It is advised to use caution, because the reviews can be scathing.

Who Wrote It #1

Click here to read our original stories.

By Way of Introduction

Greetings and welcome to the Missing Comma Club blog!

We, being several writers of varying levels of experience and diverse backgrounds, plan to use this space to share what we're learning along our literary journey. By pooling our collective skills and interests, we hope to create a source of motivation, information and support for ourselves and other writers we meet along the way.

We've talked about the importance of creating this kind of community for some time now. As Disney says, it's time to start doing. Hopefully, as life permits, more of our writing group will join in.

MEET THE CONTRIBUTORS

Katie Drake

Katie Drake fell in love with books when she found the author V.C. Andrews. Ever since, she has been hooked on stories which span several books--she is a series fan. (more)

Solange Hommel

Solange Hommel is a "newb" to the writing game. She's been an avid reader since the age of 4, when her Daddy first taught her that squiggly lines tell stories. Now she's trying to wrangle squiggly lines into stories of her own. (more)

GETTING WRITE TO IT

Now that you know who we are, let's play a game! Below are our responses to a fifteen minute writing prompt: 

A woman carrying a large box flags down a cab in the rain.

Can you match the writing sample to the author?

- - - 

Sample A

A cab pulled up, splashing through the water collecting by the curb, as soon as she raised her arm. The inside of the cab smelled of stale cigars and sweat, but rain had already begun to drip from the ends of her hair into her collar and her arms ached under the weight of the cardboard box she carried, so she climbed in. Her shoes stuck to the filthy carpet and she tried not to think about what might be crawling from the matted upholstery to the back of her coat.

“Where to, lady?”

“Salvation Army, please.”

The driver flicked a switch on the dashboard and the cab lurched into the steady stream of traffic. She dropped her arm over the water-spotted top of the box to keep it from sliding as they rounded a corner. The gesture reminded her of how her father's arm would swing across the car during sudden stops – the pressure of his hand sudden and firm against her chest – long after she had grown past the need.

Her eyes stung with the realization that her father's arm would never hold her back against the safety of the passenger seat again.

- - -

Sample B

Sweat tickled down her neck, wetting short curls against her skin. The damn thing was awkward. Bigger than a microwave box, heavier than a basket of wet laundry, and losing its shape at the corners from being banged down one stair after another.

Regretting the hasty choice of flip flops, she took one more risky, backwards step down, feeling for the edge of the step with her toes and pondering the consequences of letting the box tumble its own way down to the ground floor. The ground floor, as in rock bottom.

Crawl under a rock, don’t rock the boat, between and rock and a hard place, she thought with each thumping step closer to her goal.

At the landing, the box of things she should have thrown out the window was pushed across a floor of cracked black and white tile and then rammed through the too narrow doorway while she held the heavy, old, wooden door open with her back.

The cab was there. And it was raining. The cabby stepped out, offered to help her, but she waved him off. This box was her burden and she would carry it.

- - -

Thanks for reading! Please, take a second to introduce yourself in the comments below. Don't forget to make your guesses about the authorship of each sample. Even better: set a timer for 15 minutes and share what you've written! 

We'll let you know who wrote which sample next week. Good luck!